Oh I was a bit of a lad I admit
My past was a trifle shady
Until in the end I went right round the bend
And married a tattooed lady

I immediately saw there were pictures galore
On every available corner
As I studied her frame, very soon I became
An expert in flora and fauna

On the back of each knee was a small chimpanzee,
On her thigh was a Knight of The Garter
And just for a laugh they had put on her calf
Eight bars of the Moonlight Sonata

One evening I found as I ambled around
I was feeling an absolute Charlie
'Cos I couldn't be sure if the sketch on her jaw
Was Picasso or Salvador Dali

Somethings I found out I just won't talk about
I find it's inclined to embaress
But I give you my word though it may sound absurd
It was just like the Louvre in Paris

On one of her feet, you were liable to meet
A Master of Hounds in his habit.
And right round her waist, in impeccable taste,
Was a python devouring a rabbit.

I loved all the ships on one side of her hips
The view in Peru on the other
But I was struck dumb when I found on her tum
A caricature of her mother

For this was much more than a man can endure,
Though I made the most earnest endeavour.
So I scuttled away, and I'm happy to say
It was Ta ta tattoo for ever,
Ta ta tattoo for ever,
Ta ta tattoo 
For ever
